Day Two: The Drama of Eating

Don't be scared of hunger. I mean this for both physical hunger and non-physical hunger. I am so afraid of being hungry. I stock glove compartments and desk drawers at work with snacks. And typically nothing nutritionally sound, high fat or high sugar items find their way into my "back up areas" in case I "needed a boost." I have it in my mind that I can't function properly without eating every hour or so. This custom has became so prevalent, my body has started mimicking signs of hypoglycemia, even though I have no reason to believe I am truly experiencing a medical condition. I am uncomfortable for a short amount of time and that's not okay in my world.

A couple months ago, I challenged myself to begin finding comfort in the discomfort. Challenging myself to rise above minimal discomfort and move forward with what I had planned for the day. Now, to be clear, I am not advocating starvation diets or saying "we should all feel hungry all the time." No. Not even close. I fucking love food, those words would never come out of my mouth. What I am suggesting is not panicking at the first smallest signs of hunger and numbing ourselves with high sugar and high fat food-like substances to placate the smallest signs of discomfort. What I am suggesting is taking the signs for what they are. "I am beginning to feel hungry, perhaps I need to start thinking about what my body would like to eat." I use the excuse "If I wait until I'm hungry to decide what to eat I'll binge I just know I will!" I would guess that working myself up into a frenzy of reasons why I might binge gave me an "out" to go ahead and binge. Just saying...

I am trying a new approach where I wait until I get hunger signals from my body to decide what to eat, because hell if I know. Granted, there is still a fair amount of planning to make sure I am staying within my SmartPoints and making sure I am getting both nutrients and food I love. The mad dash to satiate myself the exact moment I feel hungry is slowly slipping away. I will not die or automatically go into binge mode if I have to wait (due to work, driving, etc) 30 min, maybe even 60 min (*gasp*) to eat. 

This happened today. It is Day Two of Weight Watchers and truth be told because this was an impulsive decision, I didn't exactly have Weight Watchers-friendly food already stocked up in the house. But, instead of allowing myself to feel defeated before I even started, I winged it. First, I prepared a makeshift and haphazardly Overnight Oats situation that was missing a key ingredient I discovered this morning (1/2 cup of water so it wouldn't be the solid mass I ate for breakfast). 

Next, I brought leftover pizza. *sigh* Yes, my partner who (in her defense) did not know* I had started Weight Watchers asked if I wanted to get my favorite food ever: PIZZA on my very first day of Weight Watchers. So, I looked up the SPs and took a hit from my weekly points to eat 2 slices of a personal pizza (10" pie). *Normally* I would eat the entire 4 slices AND and appetizer AND beer. Last night, I drank water and happily and sloooooowly ate my 2 slices. I brought the remaining 2 slices to work for lunch. Let me preface with this, my work hours are non-traditional (4:30am-12pm) so "lunch" is 10:30am. My Overnight Oats (as tough as they were to get through) satisfied me until 11 today when I then ate my leftover pizza. 

*I didn't tell my wife I joined WW, because I want to make sure it will *stick* before I go announcing major food and lifestyle changes. I'm lovingly referred to in my family as the girl who cried vegan.

Were there moments in the morning before 11 when I felt hungry? Sure. But I was with patients or anticipating the arrival of patients and couldn't very well heat up my leftovers and eat them in session (I wouldn't enjoy them anyway like that). So, instead of reaching for candy or "protein bars" full of sugar, I waited. And the hunger feelings subsided, telling me one of two things-either I wasn't physically hungry, but instead stressed or anxious about my day and my *habit* being reaching for sugar at 8am OR my body was letting me know "hey, I'm getting hungry, just thought you should know, I know you have this covered." And I did. I ate my pizza at 11 as planned and I didn't binge, didn't even FEEL like binging, just enjoyed the food I allotted and moved on, taking the emotion and energy out of the drama of eating.

So, here's to us and Day Two Mother-forkers as they say on "The Good Place"

Mel

SW: 212.6

CW: 211.4

GW: 150

Breakfast: Haphazard Overnight Oats

Lunch: 2 slices pizza 

Dinner: 2 scrambled eggs with 1/2 vegan sausage, tomatoes, and crushed red pepper on a tortilla wrap with chocolate almond milk 

Snack: Grapes, apple, banana, almond milk
Total: 38 SPs (23 daily/15 weekly/6 FitPoints earned)

This is my blog about my journey on Weight Watchers SmartPoints system circa December 16, 2018. I am not paid by Weight Watchers or any affiliates and my opinions, musings, and thoughts are solely my own.