A Rebel Girl's Guide to Navigating Weight Watchers

Expectations are resentments waiting to happen. This is an AA-ism a colleague shared with me and I am forever grateful for. I often "start a new food plan" with the vim and vigor of an athlete in training. I also start to assume my body can do the things it could do 10-15 years ago. Starting any new habit with such high and unreasonable expectations will typically end in feelings of failure or inadequacy. I know from experience. I put a lot of pressure on myself in everything I do. I want to be "perfect" the first time around to avoid being reprimanded or "talked to." The dreaded "talking to" that I might experience at work or in a relationship makes me focus ONLY on the ways that I am not living up to my own outrageously high expectations and illuminates all my flaws. Even when something I need to work on is sandwiched between two glowingly positive things, I will tend to only focus on the negative, no matter how minute it is. And then my  OCD

I started WW Dec 16th on an impulse . I was at my wit's end with not fitting comfortably in my clothes and I had broken down and sobbed to my wife "The only thing that ever worked was Weight Watchers! But, even on Weight Watchers, I binged!" That thought  even on Weight Watchers I binged  stuck in my mind. Wait, so even when I had a structured plan, I binged. Meaning Weight Watchers wasn't the "problem"-I was. Well, that's not true either-my food addiction is the problem. More specifically, the traumas and anxieties I have collected since childhood that led to me finding solace and sedation in binge eating are the problem. But here I am in adulthood, left with the aftermath. Three days into Weight Watchers, I excitedly prepared a low point dinner using zero point shrimp (a novelty since my last go at WW). I enjoyed my shrimp (which I hadn't eaten in about a year due to phases of vegetarian and vegan eating) but woke up at 2am the following

Day Three and this is the least amount of points I have eaten and the most amount of points earned. Yay! I walked almost two hours with a friend and made every meal today, with fresh ingredients-no boxed mac and cheese, no frozen dinners. Double yay! This post is about accepting and embracing that not every meal will be a trip to an amusement park full of excitement, fun, and sugar. I am learning this. I have heard the adage "I eat to live, not live to eat." Sorry, but I can do both. I absolutely love to eat. The ritual of it, the ceremony of preparing a favorite meal or snack, the first bite. But, like most things, it can be ruined in minutes and I usually manage to do just that. By binge eating or overeating, allowing myself too much of a good thing and feeling the physical and emotional consequences of it. On WW, I am learning that not every meal has to be something to write home about or akin to your last meal on Earth. It can simply be a functional meal meant to

Don't be scared of hunger. I mean this for both physical hunger and non-physical hunger. I am so afraid of being hungry. I stock glove compartments and desk drawers at work with snacks. And typically nothing nutritionally sound, high fat or high sugar items find their way into my "back up areas" in case I "needed a boost." I have it in my mind that I can't function properly without eating every hour or so. This custom has became so prevalent, my body has started mimicking signs of hypoglycemia, even though I have no reason to believe I am truly experiencing a medical condition. I am uncomfortable for a short amount of time and that's not okay in my world. A couple months ago, I challenged myself to begin finding comfort in the discomfort. Challenging myself to rise above minimal discomfort and move forward with what I had planned for the day. Now, to be clear, I am not advocating starvation diets or saying "we should all feel hungry all t

Welcome. This is my blog about my journey on Weight Watchers SmartPoints program circa December 16, 2018. I am not paid by Weight Watchers or any affiliates and my opinions, musings, and thoughts are solely my own. I always hoped I would start a blog to document my journey to health, wellness, and weight loss. I'm not sure why, my "successes" have dwindled considerably in adulthood. In my 20's it was very easy to lose extra weight with very little effort. Now, at 37, I have stagnated near or over 200 lbs for easily the past 5 years, probably longer if I'm being honest. My weigh loss goals are realistic-I'm not concerned about my clothing size as that has proven to be subjective and varying depending on brand, store, and even style of clothes within the same store. I have become concerned with my overall outlook on myself. I don't feel comfortable in my body, in my skin. I feel every roll and bulge and fold on my fat and skin when I sit, lie down,